Time Machine?

I often find myself "accidentally" thinking of a time machine. When I see the hurt in my families eyes, I wish I could go back and do everything different, yet don't we all? The allure of a time machine is a constant whisper in my mind, the tantalizing possibility of revisiting past crossroads and choosing different paths, erasing regrets and crafting a seemingly smoother narrative. There's a powerful yearning to correct missteps, to make the wiser choices I see so clearly in hindsight. Yet, a deeper understanding tempers this desire, a recognition that the tapestry of my life, with all its knots and frayed edges woven from those very "bad" decisions, is what ultimately defines its unique texture and, indeed, who I am today in Simi Valley. The lessons learned, the resilience forged, and the unexpected turns those choices led to have shaped my current perspective and strengths, creating the very "me" that now contemplates this fantastical journey. The past holds the ghost of what-ifs, but it also undeniably birthed the present reality I inhabit.

The weight of past choices, once a heavy anchor dragging me down, has begun to feel less like a burden and more like a collection of lessons etched into my being. I'm starting to view those missteps not as irreparable failures, but as integral parts of the journey that has led me to this point in Simi Valley. While the temptation to rewrite history still flickers, a stronger resolve is taking root – a commitment to learning from those experiences and consciously choosing a different trajectory moving forward. The focus is shifting from what could have been to actively shaping a future informed by those hard-won insights, making decisions with greater awareness and intention, and building a life in Simi Valley that reflects the wisdom gained from navigating the complexities of the past.

April 10 from Daily Reflections 

"Growing Up"

Todays reflection really relates to me. Growing up is a thing I struggle with. I love being a happy-go-lucky, live for the moment type of person but now I have no choice but to be myself while "adulting" I underlined my relatable parts:

GROWING UP

April 10

"The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting

willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails."

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 115

Sometimes when I've become willing to do what I should have been doing all along, I want praise and recognition.

I don't realize that the more I'm willing to act differently, the more exciting my life is.

The more I am willing to help others, the more rewards I receive.

That's what practicing the principles means to me.

Fun and benefits for me are in the willingness to do the actions, not to get immediate results.

Being a little kinder, a little slower to anger, a little more loving makes my life better day by day.

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AS BILL SEES IT

The A.A. Way of life

1
Personality Change
"It has often been said of A.A. that we are interested
only on alcoholism. That is not true. We have to get
over drinking in order to stay alive. But anyone who
knows the alcoholic personality by firsthand contact
knows that no true alky ever stops drinking
permanently without undergoing a profound
personality change."
« « « » » »
We thought "conditions" drove us to drink, and when
we tried to correct these conditions and found that we
couldn't do so to our entire satisfaction, our drinking
went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never
occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to
meet conditions, whatever they were.